We all have one thing we really enjoy. For some, it is art and the many manifestations of creativity that come from within. Others get their thrills from the sciences, still others delight in language and the way it is used. Some relish being outdoors and working with their hands. Every single one of us has a passion that God has placed in us so that we can delight in His majesty by doing what it is we love to do. He gives us that gift, that longing to draw us to him! This concept is not new to me, but tonight God hit me with a hammer that knocked my pre-conceived notions off their seat. You see, I have often wondered what my passion was. Tonight through some wonderful conversation, God reminded me of what it is that I love. My passion, the subject that is not an academic subject but rather a hobby to me personally is history. From the time I was little I had a thirst for history. I was the guy who went to the library and most often headed to the history section first. Countless times I staggered out of one of the branches of the Memphis library system with a stack of thick books that most people would find dry and dull. Me? I devoured them the way that most Memphians devour bar-b-q. But as I entered college, I was certain that God wanted me to be a christian studies major, go to seminary, and work as a pastor/church planter. I felt it was my obligation to ignore my love of history and focus on preparing for vocational ministry. I had long ago put aside and stifled my enjoyment of the study of the past, yet over the past couple of months my relationship with God has felt smothered. Why? for the longest time I had no idea. Now it seems clearer. I have turned my back on an worthy desire that God had given me in exchange for what I felt was obedience. I am praying about the next step, but I know God is in control and has a plan for my life. This does not necessarily mean that I am going to change majors, or even whatever semblance of a career path I may have had; but that I am simply going to seek God and his plan for my life. I want to obey him so that he is glorified in my life. John Piper once said that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied on him, and tonight I realized that I have not been most satisfied in him, rather I have been seeking satisfaction in trying to earn God's favor by chasing after my self righteous desires. God rocks, and his love is always amazing me. I am blessed beyond measure by the people that God has placed in my life and am thankful for his presence that surrounds me.
Truly Blessed,
Matt
(Numbers 6:24-26)
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