Strength in Weakness

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

-2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV

These verses have always been among my favorites in the whole of scripture, but now as I write this, these words are sustaining me. I'm sitting in a Starbuck's about 30 minutes from home just before 10 p.m. CST. About five miles from where I sit, my mom is laying in a hospital bed waiting to be moved to a nursing home. My father sits with his beloved bride to keep her company. For those of you who don't know, my mom was diagnosed with early onset alzhimer's disease in July 2008. The diagnosis was expected, but left my family reeling. Fast forward to this summer, the summer of 2011. Now, my mom needs constant attention, which places a huge burden on my family and I. But with God, we have made it ok. But suddenly, last thursday my mom suffered a small stroke. Long story short, my mom has reached the point where she needs constant help from trained professionals. In one day, my neat little world was turned upside down. On saturday, my dad and I discussed the future for mom.

After a few minutes, we both agreed that mom would need to be placed in a facility. At that point, my father and I felt the need to pray, so we did. My Godly father knelt on the living room floor and we both prayed. I went first, then my dad began to pray. Almost instantly, years of silent suffering escaped in the form of sobs. For the first time in 5 years, I was crying. I was crying tears that I had suppressed for too long. I had wanted to cry at times, but had been unable. The verses in 2 Corinthians came to mind, and I felt God's peace as I realized my utter weakness. Since then, God has constantly reminded me of my desperate need for Him.

My comfort zone lies in ruins, my "everything is good" bubble is shattered. But God is God, and as His word promises, His strength is made perfect in weakness. In my 20 years of living, God has always done what he promises in Scripture. At this point in my life, I'm learning how to depend on God, and how to rely on him for everything.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Matt.

(Numbers 6:24-26)